porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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