How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
