Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
