Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
