i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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