I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The air was thick with penises
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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