He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize