Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
oh god the rape fog is back!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
