my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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