i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize