He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
