i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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