just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize