Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
