Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
