Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize