I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
