We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
