I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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