she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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