So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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