If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
