someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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