Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
