you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
