Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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