Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
