I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
