How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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