I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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