dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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