we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
