We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
