how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
