I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
