I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
