I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
