she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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