I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
