Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
