That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
