He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
