i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
