Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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