I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize