it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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