doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
