How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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