Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
