I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
