I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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