Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think a kid would responsible me up
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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