You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
