I don't usually arrange sex via text message
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
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