Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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