I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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