I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
